Long time no talk………

Seems like it has been forever!!!!!! My schedule has been nothing short of bananas. Running kids around, on hold with insurance companies, screaming at insurance companies (my husband is now self employed, so dealing with ObamaCare and getting approvals for for my Type 1 Diabetic have been a complete nightmare)….ps…ObamaCare sucks ASS by the way!!!! Anyhoo, all of my added must do’s have taken priority so I am ready to dive back in….here we go…..

So, as a mother I never really thought about how much my body, self and image would change post childbirth. I mean some woman get huge, some bounce right back and some woman manage to look even better post baby. Think about it. You have a baby and your world changes. Your priorities, likes and dislikes, people and places you frequent, bedtime, routine, favorite restaurants……everything. You now see EVERYTHING through protective mommy colored glasses. You are no longer the priority or number one to please, your little human is. Your needs and wants are now on the back burner. That or those tiny people rely on you, its parents for survival.

Now, post baby and post adoption x2. Three children later. I am finally trying to seriously take care of me. After the birth of our now almost ten year old, due to complications during delivery I got very ill. Have been dealing with the aftermath of that day since. A few surgeries, experiments with terrible medications, nasty side effects from those meds (one being severe weight gain) and constant pain. Since my last surgery, it seems to have helped the most (a pacemaker for my bladder) and I am finally, after 9.75 years feeling almost normal again (whatever that means). This is the first time since becoming pregnant that my body is allowing me to work out and be active, regularly. I am loving it!!!! I do still need to not overdue it. Even though my excitement sometimes gets the best of me and I totally overdue it, which leads to me getting sick and having to completely relax for a few days. ( that is exactly what happened last week, it all caught up to me and I got a terrible flu, that knocked me out for a few days…I overdid it.) I am nowhere near where I want to be and it has only been like 2-3 months, but I am taking it slow and enjoying my newfound strength. It will take a while to gain all of my confidence and gumption back but I am ready and willing to work for it now! Also, now, I understand the importance of being strong healthy parents. My husband and myself setting a good example for a healthy, happy lifestyle. That is a big part of our job, as parents. Lead by example, not “listen to what I mean, not what I say”. That, just cracks me up…..although it is how too many parent;) I want my children to look at us be proud to say, “those are my parents”. We want to be the parents having fun WITH our kids. Not watching and wishing we could from the sidelines.

Here is how I feel. This is my body. Though I do not love the way it looks most of the time, I LOVE IT. What it stands for, what it has endured, its abilities. I am strong, have the power and now ability to mold it into something better and healthier. It will never be the teenage version I thought I longed for it to be again. It will be my new version of strength and beauty. That…… will bring me more confidence than ever before. My strength and confidence will show my children that beauty comes from within and is not just what you see, but what you feel. Ten years ago I wanted to be hot mom. Now I want to be a strong mom. A good mom.

Healthy and strong are always beautiful. Sadly beauty to most isn’t always healthy or strong.

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